The difference between listening to users and understanding them

But what people say and what they actually do are often two very different things.

I’ve been in sessionsglossary×SessionA session is a single period of user interaction with a product, from entry to exit within a defined timeframe.Open glossary term→ where users confidently explain how they would behave, only to do something completely different a few minutes later.

They say they’d read everything before making a decision, then skip half the content.

They say they want more options, then hesitate when presented with them.

They say something is clear, then struggle when they try to use it.

None of that is intentional. It’s just how people are.

That’s where listening on its own starts to fall short.

If you take everything at face value, you end up designing for what users say they want, not what actually helps them.

I’ve seen this play out on projects where feedbackglossary×FeedbackFeedback is the system response that informs users about the result of their actions. It helps users understand what has happened and what to do next.Open glossary term→ was taken too literally.

In one case, users repeatedly asked for more information earlier in the journeyglossary×Pain PointA specific problem or frustration users experience when trying to complete a task.Open glossary term→. The instinct was to surface more content upfront. On paper, that aligned perfectly with what had been said. In practice, it made the experience heavier and harder to move through.

What users were really asking for wasn’t more information, it was more confidenceglossary×ConfidenceConfidence is the level of certainty in a decision or outcome based on available evidence.Open glossary term→.

That’s a different problem.

Understanding comes from looking beyond the words.

It’s about how people behave, where they hesitate, what they ignore, and what they expect to happen next. It’s about spotting the gaps between what’s said and what’s done, and working out what’s actually driving that behaviourglossary×BehaviourBehaviour refers to how users interact with a system, including actions, patterns, and responses.Open glossary term→.

I’ve found that some of the most useful insightsglossary×InsightAn insight is a meaningful understanding that explains why something is happening and what it means.Open glossary term→ come from those gaps.

A user saying something is fine, but taking longer than expected to complete it.

A moment where they pause, not because something is unclear, but because it doesn’t feel right.

A decision pointglossary×Decision PointA decision point is a moment in a user journey where a user must choose between actions that affect what happens next.Open glossary term→ where they second guess themselves, even though they’ve been given all the information they need.

Those moments rarely show up in a summary, but they’re often where the real issues sit.

This is where researchservice×User ResearchUnderstand user behaviour, validate ideas, and make clearer product decisions with evidence you can act on.Open service→ becomes more than just collecting feedbackglossary×FeedbackFeedback is the system response that informs users about the result of their actions. It helps users understand what has happened and what to do next.Open glossary term→.

It becomes interpretation.

Understanding contextglossary×ContextThe surrounding conditions that shape behaviour and decisions.Open glossary term→, intent, and behaviourglossary×BehaviourBehaviour refers to how users interact with a system, including actions, patterns, and responses.Open glossary term→, not just responsesglossary×ResponseA response is the data or result returned by a server after receiving a request.Open glossary term→.

I’ve seen teams lean heavily on quotes as proof of insightglossary×InsightAn insight is a meaningful understanding that explains why something is happening and what it means.Open glossary term→.

A strong quote feels compelling. It’s easy to share, easy to present, and easy to align around. But on its own, it can be misleading. Without contextglossary×ContextThe surrounding conditions that shape behaviour and decisions.Open glossary term→, it’s just a snapshot of what someone said in a moment, not necessarily a reflection of what’s actually happening.

The real value comes from connecting things together.

What users say.

What they do.

What they expect.

Where those things don’t align.

That’s where understanding starts to form.

In my experience, the difference between listening and understanding is what determines whether researchservice×User ResearchUnderstand user behaviour, validate ideas, and make clearer product decisions with evidence you can act on.Open service→ leadsglossary×LeadA lead is a potential customer who has shown interest in a product or service, typically by providing contact information or engaging with content.Open glossary term→ to better decisions or just better conversations.

Listening gives you input.

Understanding gives you direction.

Because users don’t always tell you what the problem is.

But if you pay attention to how they behave, they’ll show you.